Losing Myself
by gap-djpuppy
Summary: The road to healing wounds of the heart is through pain, anguish, sickness and many tears...


**Losing Myself**

Hey guyz, ready for a sappy and sickening story? Here it goes! Reviews after!

**DISCLAMER: Again, I DO NOT OWN NARUTO! It's Masahi Kishimoto's. Okay?**

Here we are again, a one-shot story for all of you. This is not a "So love-story" after all. I know that you will hate me and this story for having this genre, but I encourage you to read this because you can get a lesson out of this… especially girls. Read this or you'll be sorry! Nyahahahaahahahahahahahah! Joke…

**Losing Myself**

I, Haruno Sakura writing this diary entry, was like any other average college student. I was active in sports, had my circle of friends, goes on gimmicks and got good grades. In fact, very good. Until the day I was introduced to _him. _There was something in his eyes that attracted me. Somehow I thought that he needed me, just as much as I needed to be loved.

"Hey Sakura, I want you to meet my friend, Itachi. Itachi, this is Sakura, my best friend. I wish the two of you get along well while I am away" Ino smiled as she introduced them to one another.

"Nice meeting you Itachi," Sakura smiled and placed her hand in front of him.

"Nice meeting you too, Sakura" Itachi grabbed for Sakura's hand and shook it.

Since then, we became friends.

After a week or so, Ino flew to Los Angeles with her mom and told me that she'll be back after a year. From then on, Itachi and I began flirting each other.

After flirting for months, we finally became a couple. We were together every single moment from that day on. Slowly, day-by-day, my family and friends saw me changing… I was in love.

After a month, Itachi had finally kissed me. It was not the ordinary lip-to-cheek we had but this kiss was perfect. It was when he kissed me at the locker room… on my birthday. It was the most magnificent birthday gift I had on my entire life. And I was so perfectly happy.

Then, three months later, however, he started trying to control me and even raise his voice to me. I told myself it was normally okay because Itachi did really love me. I had just remembered the first time he ever hurt me.

We were skiing with friends and had lost each other on the slopes. When he found me, he said it was my fault. He proceeded to push me and call me nasty names;

"You're such a dumb and reckless bitch" "This is all your fault, whore"

I ran to the bathroom and cried my eyes out. I had already thought of breaking up with him but the next thing I knew, he was in the bathroom hugging me, overflowing me with kisses and saying how sorry he was. And so, I forgave him and placed that day at the back of my mind.

Things didn't go back to normal though. Itachi then, started becoming possessive and jealous. He made rules stating I could no longer wear my hair down, wear shorts and mini skirts, cross my leg or have any sign of another boy in my room.

One time I was to go out with my friends, without him, wearing a micro-mini skirt measuring for about 7-8 inches above my knee and my long hair down at my back. My sleeveless glittering top was also attractive that's why I wore it. While I was waiting for my friends, sited on the porch with my legs crossed, Itachi saw me as he was passing by with his car. He quickly went out of his car and dragged me by the hair to the car. As we drove to his condo, he shouted at me endlessly with hurting words. I controlled myself not to cry. But as we entered his condo, and dropped me to the floor, he began stepping on me. He got a scissor in a nearby table and started cutting my hair. I was pleading endlessly with my eyes already red but he won't listen to me. He wrecked my sleeveless shirt off me and slapped and punched me.

He planted kisses from my neck and that is when I knew he was raping me.

The time I woke up, I realized I was naked beside him. I tried to slip out and get dressed up but I felt his arm on my shoulders… I was afraid.

"…" I was shaking.

He looked at me and got the towel beside him and wrapped himself. He went back from his bathroom and threw me my things an oversized t-shirt.

"Get dressed, and then you leave." He spoke coldly and disappeared in the bathroom.

I dressed up quickly and ran outside his condo. I walked my way home and stuck my face under my sheets. I was so worried if I had my virginity lost or if I would have my period tomorrow. Luckily, the next day, I had it.

Since then, my grades dropped, I lost my ambition for sports, I cried out every single night as I receive a slap, a push or a bad word from him as a greeting. A couple of times I tried hurting myself because I felt I was already not me and that there wasn't any other reason for me to be alive.

My parents tried taking me to counseling and talked to all my teachers about my relationship. I started skipping school. The violence escalated. He tried to choke me on several occasions and gatherings and tried to break my arm if I would say no to whatever he asks me. One summer, he also tried drowning me in front of my friends when his brother looked at me in my swimsuit. Was it just? He should have tried to drown his brother! Not me! He had so much control of my mind that I could not accept anyone else's opinions but his. And I just kept my mouth shut. I have not spoken, I have not told it to anyone else.

The physical abuse continued to get worse. He forced me to do sexual activities with him. He also hit, choked and pushed me around. He also cut _my _wrists because _his _life was in dumps. This went on for nine months. _Where was my best friend? Where was she?_

Finally, my parents took me on a trip for a week. While I was on vacation, I built up enough courage to break up with him. One night, I lay on my bed and thought of everything he had done to me. It was clear what I had to do.

When I went back to school, Itachi was in my gym class. I was still nice to him because I still feared him. When I got up the nerve to tell him that it was over for good, he went wild, pushed me to the ground and kicked me several times. Nobody came to help me. The next day, I discovered an 8-inch bruise on my leg.

It took me 3 days to show the bruise to my parents. They took me straight to the police station to file a case. I wanted to just let it go, but I was also determined that this should not and would not happen to anyone he would "love" in the future.

At home, I continue receiving threatening phone calls from Itachi saying that he was going to kill me. He even told my parents that he would hurt me if he had the chance.

My court experience took over a year and yet, Ino wasn't still there. I found out that he had a violent past and this wasn't the first time that he had abuse filed against him. I was never notified about the final court hearing, so it happened without me. The justice system let fine a lifetime imprisonment and I was happy. I had to go on with my life.

I am very happy to where I am now. I am nineteen years old, and I have grown and healed a lot. It took me a year to tell my parents everything that he did to me. Ino has not yet arrived still but I hope and I look forward to seeing her again.


End file.
